How endurance training changed me as a partner
After ending a failed relationship, I’m trying to analyze as many things as I can. To learn and be better.
One thing I started thinking about was how endurance training changed my mindset, in this case when it comes to relationships. Comparing that to my non-endurance athlete ex.
And to be clear, this is not about bashing my ex. She’s a wonderful person. I’m just using our differences to show you how my mindset has shifted because of endurance training. Before, I pretty much had the same mindset as her.
Obviously, it isn’t as black and white as I might make it sound here. Other life experiences play a big role as well. Still, it’s interesting to reflect on.
Marathon Mindset
We had different views in our relationship. We were from opposite sides of the globe, so naturally, we had different views on a lot of things. We handle things differently, etc.
For me, that’s not a problem. My marathon mentality knows that a relationship requires work. Effort. Putting in the work every day.
I know that being with someone for the rest of my life won’t always be like a Disney movie. There will be rough days. Therefore, I want to be with someone who also knows the importance of putting in a little effort every day and thinking about things long-term.
Now, we were in the early stages of our relationship, so it wasn’t about actually thinking about being with each other for the rest of our lives. But in arguments, you see if that mindset is there.
For me, as long as the feelings are there, I‘m’ happy to put in the work every day. Marathon mindset.
She, on the other hand, wasn’t thinking long-term. Everything was just supposed to fall into place, without effort.
Ego
When you set out to do an Ironman race without knowing how to swim or bike(properly), you need to put your ego aside. You need to tell yourself that you have no clue what you’re doing, and you need to start from scratch. It might be humiliating.
That’s a good skill to have. In order to learn, you need to be able to admit that you have no clue what you’re doing.
In relationships, you need to put your ego aside every now and then and listen to your partner. Understand their point of view. Accept that they are right (if they are), and start working on it.
Mental clarity
I was with a person that can’t be alone. One evening alone and she’s bored. The more clutter the better. Full schedule, Netflix, social media, etc.
I don’t understand how someone that lives in that kind of chaos possibly can have a clear mind. If you can’t be alone with your thoughts for an evening, how can you really know what you’re thinking, what you want, etc?
You’re most likely just running on impulses at that point.
I get it, it’s not always nice being alone with your thoughts. That’s why social media is so popular. Instead of thinking, you occupy your mind with useless scrolling.
As someone who currently runs 5 days per week, spending a lot of time alone with my thoughts, I can see a big difference between the two of us. And let’s just say, I like where I am at right now a lot more.
